Enjoy with your heart, but believe with your mind and keep your eyes open love was never meant to be blind and foolish. Let’s get into the most important 9 questions you will need to ask before you walk down the aisle.
1. This question helps you understand the basic concept you and your fiancé have of marriage. Being a wife or husband is like being partners of a start-up firm. If both partners have very different views of what this means the marriage won’t ever be managed effectively.
2. What does the marriage look like to you and your fiancé? You are deep in love and have an image in your mind of what the union will look like 5, 10 and 25 and years later on. Your fiancé also has expectation of what the union will look like and how it will function. These expectations may be quite different so get them apparent early on.
3. You will need to always have this gorgeous story to reflect on and help refocus your feelings.
4. What is your purpose in the marriage? Getting married is more about what you bring to the relationship than that which you could get from it. There is a very specific set of motives that make you the best person for your spouse. You need to understand how being you and fulfilling your potential will add tremendous value to your partner.
5. What’s the purpose of your spouse for a partner? However well together you think you are, your partner also has value to add that will make you a better person.
6. Who are you as a special person? Folks get lost in relationships because they lose sight of who they are. You want to take the time to figure out who you are before trying to become one with someone else.
7. Who is your fiancé as a unique unique person? Apart from appreciating who you are as a unique person you need to appreciate the uniqueness of your fiancé also.
8. What problems have you noticed? Love isn’t blind; love sees the very best and minimises the worst. Love lets you know that the issues didn’t stop you from falling in love. You still need to acknowledge the issues and bring them to the light.
9. Frustration comes when expectations aren’t met. In marriage you are likely to blame your spouse when these aren’t met. Your life expectations will need to be measured against what you and your fiancé agree on for the marriage.
Taking the time to answer these 9 simple questions can save you from the pitfalls that have wrecked many couples. Reduce the risk of divorce by spending more time on questions like these and less on questions concerning the colour of bridesmaid dresses, menus and flowers.
After realizing that the Laboratory and Medicine isn’t what I wanted to do with my life I started to focus much more on my gifts and passions. These now include company, design/art and composing. Now I can say I love all that I do and have no more Monday blues or Friday highs.